Do you need help unspoiling your kid? “You need to buy me…” “I need…” “I want…” “Give me…” We hear these phrases so many times a day that it’s easy to just let them wash right over you. But should you be paying closer attention? Is there a chance your children have become too spoiled living in the land of Target where instant gratification isn’t fast enough? And if the kids are spoiled is there anything you can do?

One day you have a toddler who poops in the potty for the first time. Delighted, you set out to the store to reward her with a gift. A year later, you celebrate the first book she reads aloud with another present.

In first grade, good behavior, spelling tests, and Tuesdays all seem like good reasons to give your angel a gift. And everything’s great until you realize that you personally are responsible for half of Target Corp’s revenues for the last quarter, and that your child has come to expect that her every action warrants a reward.

Recognize your role

If you think your child developed a case of the gimmees completely on her own, well, wake up sister. We love you, but it’s time to take a good, long look in the mirror and admit your own role in this adventure. We’re still friends, but you are at least partly culpable here.

So now that you’re in this mess, it’s time to start getting out. And you can, by committing to be your child’s parent, not her friend. She doesn’t have to like you all the time. And she will not actually stop loving you if you refuse to buy her candy, the latest princess movie, clothes from the coolest store, or whatever she’s clamoring for at this moment.

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