It is important to teach kids how to handle failure and disappointment. Like every parent I know, I want only the best for my kids. I want them to succeed and to be happy, and I am willing to help them in this- as appropriate, of course. But I’ve also realized over the years, that for my kids to be truly happy and successful adults, they also need to learn how to handle failure. And I’d rather they learn about failure and how to handle it now, when we as parents can help them through it, than when they are older and the consequences are higher.

I noticed a few months ago that my younger son was getting pretty used to things going his way – and without too much effort on his part. Some of this is age, some of this is circumstance, and some of it may just be luck. As much as I love seeing him succeed in all he tries, I became a little concerned. He was getting pretty complacent and blase about various successes. He was starting to develop a bit of a bloated ego. He clearly needed greater challenge.

As it happened, about this time, I had a regularly scheduled meeting with his teacher, and brought this up. She had noticed some similar behaviors, similar expectations. We agreed that challenging him a little more in some areas would be appropriate – that perhaps having to work a little harder in some subjects could help his overall perspective. While we would never set him up to fail, if, in these greater challenges, he failed in some way, it probably would be a “good” thing – good for him to understand that you can’t always get what you want, good for him to have to try a little harder to succeed, and good for him to appreciate the successes he has had – and we would allow it to happen rather than intervene.

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